The Love-Trust dichotomy becomes more important when we move from family and personal ties to corporate ties. the mistake of mixing the Love with Trust continues. I have seen quite a number of situations where leader commit the mistake of allowing personal love to dictate their business decision relating to other individuals. Many of them even refuse to admit the need for entering into proper legal relationships because they love the other party as they confuse that Like with Trust.
Love or Trust, Trust is much more important than Love. If someone loves me, it is more of that person's business than mine. But if the same person trusts me, it places a duty on me to live up to that trust. In other words, Trust challenges one to reciprocate; Love might not always do that.
If I love a person it is a feeling which is internal to me and it can only be manifested after there is an attained degree of love I have for that person. I would love that person irrespective of what that person's action/reaction. Love is an umbrella word for time,attention,care and compromise. Remove any of those then love goes sour
But Trust is definitely different. The very concept of Trust involves a two way relationship. we can't keep trusting a person if that person is not ready to live up to our trust? with all sense of honesty it will be inappropriate if we go on trusting someone who has not lived up to our expectations? So here it is quite clear that to attain love one doesn't really need those factors that makes up love,rather to establish trust
Our personality,maturity and ability to reciprocate trust is assessed. Unlike love which could go on and off trust stay static and once it goes off really hard to come on again.
It is also important in our life to understand and differentiate Love and Trust. When we tangle these two feelings, we might end up losing both. Often times I have mixed up Love and Trust suggesting that a girl love the person whom she can place her trust on. But recently having critically analyzed through it more, I have come to a conclusion that the premise is false. A girl or a boy which ever case it is will love a person towards whom he/she feels love for, irrespective of that person's reaction. That has nothing to do with Trust.
Being a father or mother or spouse or child does not automatically make one object of love or trust(example there are lot of things kids or parent don't tell each other because the trust isn't there). That feeling must rise in the heart/mind of the lover.
Loving someone whom we trust(example if I trust that my girl friend can never cheat on me then I would never be jealous even if she keeps a long list of male contact. ) may still be advisable to trusting someone whom we love. The latter could be a disaster in the making. Living up to another's trust has nothing to do with love. It is a matter of honour and duty than of Love. A person who is perfectly in love may still cheat if he is not a person who is bound by honour and duty. That does not makes the person's Love any less intense. It only shows that one can't trust such person, though he may still be loved.
Love is an irrational feeling that requires a feeling of being loved. But same is not true for Trust. Trust must be based on solid reasons.
We must have reasons (at least a judgement) for us to trust or distrust another person. It may be based on our past experiences; feedback that we receive from others or even mere gut feeling. We got to be conscious that while trusting someone we must make a critical choice unlike while loving someone we may just listen to what our heart dictates. I do not agree with Ernest Hemingway when he says "The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them". That way, it will be too late when you actually find out the answer.
Love may come straight from the heart but Trust must arise from the mind. Love could be built in quite a very short time(love at first sight),but trust takes some real quality time to build.
So for me it has come to my understanding that in every relationship that will stand the test of time trust should go before love rather than the other way round. So what do you suggest or think?.
Please note: this write up is open to contributions and suggestions incase we missed out.
Love or Trust, Trust is much more important than Love. If someone loves me, it is more of that person's business than mine. But if the same person trusts me, it places a duty on me to live up to that trust. In other words, Trust challenges one to reciprocate; Love might not always do that.
If I love a person it is a feeling which is internal to me and it can only be manifested after there is an attained degree of love I have for that person. I would love that person irrespective of what that person's action/reaction. Love is an umbrella word for time,attention,care and compromise. Remove any of those then love goes sour
But Trust is definitely different. The very concept of Trust involves a two way relationship. we can't keep trusting a person if that person is not ready to live up to our trust? with all sense of honesty it will be inappropriate if we go on trusting someone who has not lived up to our expectations? So here it is quite clear that to attain love one doesn't really need those factors that makes up love,rather to establish trust
Our personality,maturity and ability to reciprocate trust is assessed. Unlike love which could go on and off trust stay static and once it goes off really hard to come on again.
It is also important in our life to understand and differentiate Love and Trust. When we tangle these two feelings, we might end up losing both. Often times I have mixed up Love and Trust suggesting that a girl love the person whom she can place her trust on. But recently having critically analyzed through it more, I have come to a conclusion that the premise is false. A girl or a boy which ever case it is will love a person towards whom he/she feels love for, irrespective of that person's reaction. That has nothing to do with Trust.
Being a father or mother or spouse or child does not automatically make one object of love or trust(example there are lot of things kids or parent don't tell each other because the trust isn't there). That feeling must rise in the heart/mind of the lover.
Loving someone whom we trust(example if I trust that my girl friend can never cheat on me then I would never be jealous even if she keeps a long list of male contact. ) may still be advisable to trusting someone whom we love. The latter could be a disaster in the making. Living up to another's trust has nothing to do with love. It is a matter of honour and duty than of Love. A person who is perfectly in love may still cheat if he is not a person who is bound by honour and duty. That does not makes the person's Love any less intense. It only shows that one can't trust such person, though he may still be loved.
Love is an irrational feeling that requires a feeling of being loved. But same is not true for Trust. Trust must be based on solid reasons.
We must have reasons (at least a judgement) for us to trust or distrust another person. It may be based on our past experiences; feedback that we receive from others or even mere gut feeling. We got to be conscious that while trusting someone we must make a critical choice unlike while loving someone we may just listen to what our heart dictates. I do not agree with Ernest Hemingway when he says "The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them". That way, it will be too late when you actually find out the answer.
Love may come straight from the heart but Trust must arise from the mind. Love could be built in quite a very short time(love at first sight),but trust takes some real quality time to build.
So for me it has come to my understanding that in every relationship that will stand the test of time trust should go before love rather than the other way round. So what do you suggest or think?.
Please note: this write up is open to contributions and suggestions incase we missed out.
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Petersonconsultant@yahoo.com
Or add up on 22F5D187 for one on one conversation
