WHY AM I ALWAYs AT THE EDGE.
PART 2
Why am I always at the edge?why do I easily get fed up in a relationship?why do I give up so easily even when I don't wish to?why does his/her actions irritate me?why cant I just love him/her the way he/she loves me?etc. All these question would have cut across the heart so many times after which we don't get good answers. Now this could be the reason,our uncompromising expectations works in two ways it either works on you or in you(like for or against).,working on you simply means your partner has these uncompromising expectations about what his/her partner should look like,be and act like,so while you are locked down in your love affair giving him/her all you've got yet he/she doesn't give you the real appreciation,making you feel you aint doing enough,and these often makes you hate your self,makes you feel you not trying at all,that's how it works on you and talking about when it works in you,you trying as much as you can to love or reciprocate what you get from your partner but at the end you still feel this insatiable depth inside you when you are in your closet like you not just getting enough,you wish to appreciate your partner for the love he/she showers on you but you not just finding the mood even when you get it,it barely last for a while. The reasons are the desires,wants,uncompromising expectations that you house in you is not getting its connect.
PART 2
Why am I always at the edge?why do I easily get fed up in a relationship?why do I give up so easily even when I don't wish to?why does his/her actions irritate me?why cant I just love him/her the way he/she loves me?etc. All these question would have cut across the heart so many times after which we don't get good answers. Now this could be the reason,our uncompromising expectations works in two ways it either works on you or in you(like for or against).,working on you simply means your partner has these uncompromising expectations about what his/her partner should look like,be and act like,so while you are locked down in your love affair giving him/her all you've got yet he/she doesn't give you the real appreciation,making you feel you aint doing enough,and these often makes you hate your self,makes you feel you not trying at all,that's how it works on you and talking about when it works in you,you trying as much as you can to love or reciprocate what you get from your partner but at the end you still feel this insatiable depth inside you when you are in your closet like you not just getting enough,you wish to appreciate your partner for the love he/she showers on you but you not just finding the mood even when you get it,it barely last for a while. The reasons are the desires,wants,uncompromising expectations that you house in you is not getting its connect.
Often times we wallow in depression,self pity,distorted mood etc because we just want to make or meet that demands, expectations our spouse desires,while most of us are subjected to these self blame,self pity that you really giving an uneven reciprocate to the love,care etc we get from our spouse. When we can't find that perfect way to help our difference we come up with excuses and reason for breakups like '' am so sorry I thought it could work out but,or you not that type of man/lady I wish to have''. forgetting that fact that there are different phase to a relationship, the contact/meeting phase,the wooing phase,the probation/thinking &rethinking phase,the accepting or refusal to date phase etc. Let's come in from the angle of you accepting to date which simply means you've subjected the person to the probation,thinking/rethinking phase hence you found him worthy of your love and relationship so why the excuse of '' I thought we could go somewhere''? Does that goes to say we sometime test run relationships?No we don't and if you feel you've been test running, I put it to you that you have only been trying to subject your uncompromising expectation even when these people we decide to date don't add up to our desires and expectations. I know most of you didn't see these concluding part of this write up coming but we had to bring it through as we didn't bring the solution to you in the previous article. The solutions to helping salvage that relationship isn't far fetched.
The truth be said is,we all have in our head a picture of a PERFECT partner forgetting that perfect is an illusion meaning no one is perfect(example: a guy wants a tall,fair lady,working class,nice attitude,good cook,love football,introvert,generous,slow to anger,accommodating) that's a good example of what one expect just one girl to carry in her which is absolutely impossible thus bringing us to the word ''already made'' yeah discussing in line with the above written qualities its outrightly backs up the fact that we all seeks or want a already made person for a relationship and each time we subject ourselves to a relationship we tend to back out if we don't find those perfect requirement we seek same reason we perceive the insatiable satisfaction gotten from our partner.
But one way to break those wall is ''patience'' of course if you agree its a virtue which means its a rare commodity. Patience in this case involves building your partner into that person you want him/her to be,it involves the step by step molding of your man/woman into those uncompromising expectations you conceive.(E.g your uncompromising expectation is to date a working class man,caring,tall,fair complexion,slow to anger,good cook,fashion killer,soft etc) at the end of the day you met a man (working class,fair complexion,quick to anger,good cook,bad dressing sense)instead of running off why not stay back and build this man into what you desire since he is close to your perfect want in a partner. You thinking running off how long will you keep pursuing perfection which is an illusion? I know the question now will be what if he is dark should I advice him to bleach? No. In life there are nature/nurture characteristics. Nature's characteristics are height,complexion,body shape,posture,eye colour,body hair etc,while nurture's characteristics are attitude,habit,approach to life,self esteem,etc. Thus those natures characteristics are the constant(independent variables) of life while the nuture characteristics are the dependent variables of life which leaves it to absolute manipulation. Logically man is more and always concerned with what he deals with on the regular than what he doesn't which simply means on the daily your happiness,comfort,joy,life generally is affected by your partners nuture characters not the nature (example after a long day of struggle and stress when you get home its your partners attitude,behaviour,care,love towards you that makes you happy and give you that fulfillment not his/her height,seize,complexions etc), so now you will agree with me that the joy of a relationship is far from beautiful look and six packs. Hence the basic idea behind making a good relationship or building a lasting one that will keep you off the edge is cultivating PATIENCE as a habit. Changing of ones character isn't as easy as it sound rather it takes a gradual process first of all you identify the character(s),you develop possible solutions,then you inform the person involved and introduce the possible solutions you've got,the person has to accept and introduce the solutions strategically into his/her life and gradually you patiently encourage and with persistence added to it,it gradually fade away,it could take days,weeks,month but what matters is that it your joy you building.
In summary we and we alone can build our world into the perfection we conceive so quit running,handle your issues,build your partner into your desired uncompromising expectations and just then you will see how your uncompromising expectations will compliment with the man or lady you have before you,remember anything you want to be best done should be done by you.
Please note: this write up is open to contributions and suggestions incase we missed out.
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Have a GRACE FILLED DECEMBER. Merry Xmas and A Prosperous New Year In Advance
