why are you so wicked!" she cried, angry
"No! Why are you so wicked!" He retorted, flaring
"Think about me for once. I am a man for Christs sakes. My children are my pride! and you are about to deny me that for the rest of my life because of your stupid mistake!"
"What about me! have you stopped for once to think about what I'm going through"
"Its your cross, carry it" Lawson fixed his angry eyes on his wife
"No, its now our cross and I am not signing those divorce papers! We vowed never to leave each other!"
"Isn't it better Sara, that you save yourself more hurt and sign these papers than to see another woman move into this house before your very eyes?" he said with a tone of sarcasm
Sara's heart thumped, "What?"
"You heard me…another woman who can help raise a family, so save yourself the stress and sign the damn papers. I need it tomorrow"He turned around to leave again
"She still can't carry your baby" Sara dropped
"Not all women had abortions. Not every woman was like you." He scorned
"You are the one who can't give me a child!" Sara let out, crying.
Lawson stopped now, turned around and walked towards her, "Whatever your plan is won't work"
"I told you I could never have a child because its you who can't make me pregnant"
"Shut up! shut up Sara! what the hell are you saying!" He shook her shoulders violently
"You are infertile Lawson…the doctor says you have primary infertility…" Sara burst into tears
Lawson gasped, loosing his balance.
"Mother called me to give me the news. I was shattered, I felt like my world was over but more importantly I thought of you. I thought of what the news could do to you, I thought of the best way to tell you… never for once did i think of leaving you. I bore your insults, your scorn, because of my past. It was so easy to judge me and think of yourself. I am the one who is hurting, I am the one who should bring some miserable divorce papers…but I thought of you…I thought of hope, faith and a miracle…I thought of my vow to you on that altar. In sickness and in health remember?", she smiled through her tears, "all of a sudden you are as weak as a baby…looking in your eyes, I can see you suddenly have lost all your guards, You are so wicked"
"Sara…" Lawson fell on his knees, torn.
"No!" She quickly fell on her knees too, "No Lawson…" She couldn't bear to see him cry
"I'm…I'm infertile", he cried, "What is left of me?" he searched his wife's eyes
"Lawson please…" she held his face, "I understand…it has been so hard for me…I have put myself in your shoes since the first day…"
"You don't deserve this…you deserve better…I can't believe I scorned you all along…please let me leave you"
"No" she shook her head, "You are my husband. I won't leave you. I won't let you leave me…I believe in miracles"
"I'm doomed…Sara I'm doomed…"He allowed his wife take him in her arms and on her shoulder he wept like a child.
In the Morning
Sara gently opened her eyes, looking beside her bed…it was empty. She quickly sat up on seeing a note gently placed on the bed. Hands shaking, she opened the letter to read.
Sara,
I cannot bear the shame. I have treated you so unfairly, yet you love me still, you are with me even in this condition of mine. To think that you knew all along and you never for once gave me a clue that it is my fault we are in this mess, makes me so unworthy of you. I love you enough to let you build another life with a man who can make you happier. I'm torn Sara and all I ask is your forgiveness. I have always loved you and if you truly love me then please start your life over again…without me…I am truly sorry for disappointing you.
Lawson.
Sara couldn't control the tears. She couldn't think straight anymore. She picked her cell phone, shaking…
"Hi Mr. Lawson's office please"
"HI Lola…" she cried, "have you seen my husband today?"
"No…no ma'am, we've been expecting him at work. He has a presentation is fifteen minutes"
"Oh God…God…" Sara dipped her hand in her full hair
"Everything ok ma'am?"
"Thank you" she ended the call.
She quickly got down from the bed and in her pajamas she ran into her car. She dialed his number repeatedly as she drove…no answer.
At 2:00pm
She sped into Fred's compound, a close friend to her husband.
"Fred!" she banged the door hastily till the door flung open
"My God Sara what's wrong?" Fred held her
"It's…its Lawson…have you seen him? is he here?"
"No…Haven't heard from him in a week"
"Oh God" she held her hair
"What's wrong?"
But she was already walking away into her car.
"Sara!" He called after her.
She zoomed away.
4:30pm
"Mom, Dad, I can't find Lawson…I can't find your son…" she cried as she paced in front of the two who looked lost
"You have to calm down and tell us what happened" Lawson's mother put her arms around Sara.
Sara burst into tears, "Please Dad could you try his number, maybe he'd pick your call?"
"Have you been to his office?" He picked his cellphone and dialed his son's number
"I have been everywhere I know him to be likely available"
"It's ok…calm down please" Lawson's mother pet her
"He's not picking. What exactly went wrong between you two?" Lawson's father searched Sara's eyes
9:00pm
Sara was still in her pajamas and on her way back home, exhausted and stuck in the traffic. She had told Lawson's parents everything. The poor couple was so shattered and also begging her to begin a new life. Sara buried her head on the steering, crying. she hadn't realized the green light.
"Hey get off the freaking road!" a driver cursed from behind her
"God please don't let him harm himself…keep him safe and lead me to him…please God…" she quickly started the car and began to move.
Suddenly she remembered the church where they wedded and took their vows. It was two hours from here; she made a u-turn and headed for the church hoping to find some peace.
******************************************************
She tiredly got down from the car, drenched and exhausted. She trudged into the open entrance of the church. She paused for a moment; shocked…it was Lawson sitting at the front row of the empty church, facing the altar.
"Lawson!" She began to run towards him, happy, relieved that he was ok.
"Sara?" He quickly stood as she approached him, "Sara…"
They both ran into each other's arms. He hugged her so tightly
"I looked for you everywhere….this was the last place I thought you'd ever be…I just came and I saw you…Lawson….I'm so happy you are ok" she touched his face
"I didn't know where else to go…It just feels like I cant face the world anymore…" he slowly released her from his embrace.
"Take my hand" Sara stretched out her hand, "C'mon, just take it"
Lawson gently clasped his hand into hers and she took him to the altar and stood to face him. She searched his eyes so deeply and hadn't seen him so weak and helpless.
"Five years ago Lawson, we both stood on this altar. Remember our vows? Remember you whispered in my ear never to leave you. I told you I wouldn't…that's why I'm here. I am your wife Lawson, I am meant to be with you forever, through the bad and good times. We've had good times, why would I leave you now? All I want from you is to believe that you can still give me a child despite what the result said…I want you to believe in a miracle", she held his face, "remember when you told me I was a miracle in your life?…our children will be our miracles too. Trust God with me because I know it won't be long…"
"Who are you Sara…" Lawson was weak with her words
"The one who vowed to be with you till the end" she smiled through her thin tears
"God I love you so much" He hugged her again
"So will you come back home with me?" Sara searched his eyes
"I have no other place to call home" He placed a soft kiss on her lips.
2 years after
Lawson and Sara were on the sofa watching a late night movie. Sara was resting on his shoulders when she felt the movement
"Lawson Lawson, it moved again…don't miss it this time touch touch" she gently placed his palm on the side of the stomach. Both felt the movement of their child
"I can feel him…I can feel him" Lawson placed his head on her belly
"I can feel him growing each day inside of me…"
"What do you think its saying now by this movement?"
"Thank you dada for believing in me" she laughed. They both laughed
"The movement has stopped" he slowly removed his head from her stomach, "I think he's sleeping"
Sara rested on his shoulders again, "In six months you'd be a father, "You finally got your miracle"
Lawson tilted his wife's face to him, looking into her eyes, "Sara…you were the miracle I needed. Thank you for not leaving me."
Sara tickled his nose with hers, "I love you too. Always will", she smiled, "We missed a whole lot on our movie"
"Movie can wait, but this can't" He gently planted a kiss on her belly.
Loladee.
Hi Friends,
First, we forget our vows so easily, so quickly that once our marriages start hitting the rocks, we fail to realize that there is power in union. When there is union, every mountain can be subdued. The problem is people don't yet understand the concept of marriage and trust me, until you do, please don't go to the alter because what you don't understand will eventually become a burden and confuse you. The concept of marriage is 'for better, for worse'. The 'worse' moments always come. I am not saying expect bad things but I'm saying that challenges come in marriage to make you stronger in oneness so don't use it against yourselves.
Second, miracles are real and I hope we all learn to have the patience to have our miracles in the end. Remember that marriage is a 'stick and stay' relationship not a 'hit and run' thing.
Remember your vows each day, enjoy your marriage, you deserve it!
Sent from my iPhone
